1. (Chapter 29)
XXIX
*Watchers note: Though somehow reflected here in Elish Himself’s Bloom, my favorite naming convention is cumbersome. I am switching it for ease. - Brath
29
What if we live in a Superdeterministic universe?
Playlist: Studytime—don’t touch Derek!Atrix: Derek Richard Agons
Through mountains and forests, across plains and deserts, a three-cart train rattled along an abandoned railway through the heart of the United States of America. Wheels screeching and smoke billowing, the little train chugged at a blinding speed. For most Thinkers of the age, the Wildband Express Train meant a Council sanctioned safe trek around the Dead Zones—the human cities where man congregated their lack of knowledge into intellect, commerce, and life. For humans the cities meant safety. For Thinkers the cities meant death.
For Derek Richard Agons it meant he was almost home.
The middle cabin of the train vibrated in a low hum as it rattled along, just like the old timey westerns his dad loved to watch. The passenger cabin was a busted luxury suite fit for the pleated suits and puffy dresses of the past. Two chandeliers clattered along the ceiling. Sunlight bled through the circular windows, the world outside a racing blur through the blown-out wall along the west side of the cabin. A derelict bar complete with busted shelves and a cracked mirror now sat repurposed into a garden. Nuts and fruits grew through the walls behind the bar, the shelves filled with dirt, stem, and leaf.
A cat with fur as black as night smiled wide as a golden thread flipped over a colorful playing card hovering in the air. The card floated down onto a messy discard pile.
“Uno out,” the cat said with a grin. “I win again.”
“You have to be cheating!” Tella said, her body flashing like a hologram, light breaking through her white dress and billowing sunhat. An old book floated over her shoulder, suspended in a light blue flame. Playing cards sat before her on a crystal stand built upon the crusty velvet carpet. She waved her hands through the cards in frustration as the crystal shattered into dust, dropping the cards to the ground. “He has to be cheating!”
“If heeee is I do not know how,” an old coatimundi said. Like a thin raccoon with a longer snout, the coati’s tongue lapped out of his pointed muzzle as he grabbed the cards off the cabin floor. He wore two separate monocles, each a different magnification for his old eyes.
“Again,” Tella grumbled to herself. She flicked her hands and a new crystal stand formed in front of her.
Derek sat back with a sigh, rolling up the sleeves of his worn-out black hoodie. “I’m out!” He threw his cards onto the cabin floor and leapt to his feet. “I’m going to go bug the little monster.”
“Derek,” Tella said, “she is the dragon heir holding the weight of the world on her shoulders. Please stop her a little monster.”
Derek grinned. “I’ll do that when she picks a name.”
“As I have said, she will do that in her time, as all dragons do. Caelus took two years to pick his. The heir before him took—”
“Don’t care!” Derek screamed as he sped off out of earshot, racing across the train cabin. He leapt over benches, landed on tables, right until he tripped over a bench. He squeaked as he fell forward, barely catching himself before his mouth hit the edge of an old metal chair still welded into the wall. With a gasp and a laugh, he threw himself over the final table and landed with a thud, right next to the coolest creature he’d ever met.
A baby dragon.
The dragon sat atop a neatly spread assortment of Derek’s old schoolbooks. Her once dark-grey scales were shifting now to a dark blue. Apparently, all dragons were born this way, with grey scales that turned with age. When the scales found their color, thus the dragon found their wisdom. While it usually took a year more to start showing, somehow the baby dragon’s had turned within a day.
Slender and sleek, her head had a single row of horns down the middle. She leaned forward, sifting through a neatly spread assortment of Derek’s old schoolbooks, her posture perfect. Her wings ran the length of her back, both flittering in thought. Her head bobbed up and down, her attention caught by the one thing Derek never would have guessed; learning.
The little dragon was so obsessed with learning she didn’t notice Derek coming. Music blared from Derek’s old earbuds, now planted firmly in the dragon’s ears. He’d offered his favorite playlist to help her focus, which of course she took as an invitation to steal his phone outright. It only took her an hour to figure out how to use it. Within two she had playlists of own, perfect for study time.
Study time was all she did. By Derek’s count she was on her third round through his schoolbooks with Introductory Physics, 2nd Edition being her favorite. She licked a claw and turned a page, smiling as she traced a finger down the doodles that still lined the words. It felt like another lifetime since Derek had drawn them.
A lifetime before magic.
He waved his hands in front of her.
Blinking, the dragon’s vibrant silver eyes swirled as they dilated, focusing on Derek’s hand. She puffed a small grey cloud of smoke from her nostrils, electricity like static bristling against Derke’s hand.
“Books!” she said, her voice a low song of excitement. “Books, books!” She spun around, holding the science manuscript over her head, before slamming it against Derek’s chest and mashing her claw against a passage about thermodynamics. It wasn’t the first time she tried to get him to learn something, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last.
“I told you no learning!” Derek said, pushing the book away in disgust. “I can’t believe you’re a dragon and the first word you ever said was ‘books’.” He scrunched his nose and leaned against the old metal bench he’d almost smashed his mouth on with a groan. “If I wanted to learn I would’ve stayed in school.”
“Books,” the dragon said with a sniff, her intentions clear over their connection. Though she didn’t say words, she didn’t have to. Derek could feel her emotions.
Derek scoffed. “I could too learn if a wanted to.”
“…Books.”
“Because I don’t want to!”
“Books.”
“Oh stop—give me my phone back, it’s my turn.”
The dragon grumbled as she took out the earbuds. She handed them over as slowly as possible. “Books…”
Derek scoffed. “Cartoons aren’t dumb. They calm me.”
With a huff, the dragon spun back around to the old schoolbooks and fanned out her wings in a dome like a fashion, hiding herself within.
“God, you’re a three-year-old,” Derek said with a laugh, putting in his earbuds. “But like, worse, because it’s only been four days. I remember when Robbie used to—”
Derek stopped. Tension coursed through his body as the world around him disappeared. Sound was a distant thing. There was no train, there was no dragon, there was no phone in his hand. Whether the moment was an hour or a second, Derek couldn’t say.
All he could see was his little brother’s smiling face.
Scales brushed against his hand. Derek looked down. The dragon rumbled a soft coo as she rubbed her chin against his hand. She didn’t need to say a thing. They both knew what was next for him.
It’s almost time to say goodbye.
Derek barked a laugh, pulling his hand back and rubbing his thigh. “Anyway, if you’d stop trying to learn so much, I think you’d really enjoy Youtube. Youtube’s got everything.” He put in his earbuds and turned on a tabletop actual play as fast as possible.
The dragon didn’t push it. Instead, she grabbed the book she was working through and dragged it next to Derek, sitting beside him enough that her scales touched his skin. They sat in silence as Derek zoned out and the dragon dove in.
Crammed into the back of an old train cabin, Derek could practically see himself cuddled up against the newborn dragon. The vibrations of the train soothed him, the constant rumbling offering enough movement within his body to help him focus. Youtube videos rolled into more Youtube videos as the final stretch of their journey rolled along the forgotten train tracks. The sun outside disappeared over the rolling hills and trees, blurring the sky into a smeared brown painting.
Derek traced his fingers along his once-broken ankle. His fingers twitched as his mind wandered. It was barely four days ago that he ran himself ragged. Barely four days ago he’d broken his hand trying to stab a dragon with a spear that didn’t exist. Still, for all the fresh scars that ran along his knuckles, it was the ankle he came back to.
The ankle had been broken. The ankle had been healed. Visions of the man once known as Prometheus raced through his mind. Derek’s stomach dropped, twisting within him as memories flashed through his mind like a broken videotape. Youtube could only distract him for so long. No matter how much he tried to drown it out, reality was always pressing.
Derek stopped the video, clicked on the search bar, and typed ‘massive black storm, horizon, phenomena.’
As the page refreshed, an endless array of thumbnails depicting a black storm across the horizon popped up as far as Derek could scroll. Each video was from a different perspective, but each was of the same thing—a massive black cloud high in the sky off the northern shores of California. The storm was without rain or thunder, without wind or lightning, the atmosphere seemingly unaffected by the gathering blackness. Many said the storm was impossible, and yet still it was there.
Derek scrolled through the list of videos, clicking on one he hadn’t seen yet. It was a theory on the end of the world, a biblical breakdown explaining how the storm related to stories told long ago. Derek barely listened. All he cared about was the shaky footage of swirling black mist.
All he cared about was the Void.
No matter how many theories he’d listened to, no one had gotten it right. No one would see the Void coming. Derek’s toes wiggled out of control, the movement usually enough to calm him.
It did nothing for the dread twisting his stomach.
If I hadn’t been so stupid, this wouldn’t have happened.
The Void was back, and it was all Derek’s fault.
“Though they see they do not perceive.”
Derek jumped as Tella whispered in his ear somehow through the earbuds. Light flashed as she appeared beside him, now tall enough to stand on his shoulder and stare down at his phone.
“I told you to stop doing that, Tella,” Derek said, swiping at her body. “It’s creepy!”
Tella giggled, her vision flashing as Derek’s fingers passed through it. She faded from his shoulder and reappeared six-inches tall and walking along the crushed velvet table beside them. “Anything new?”
Derek shook his head, thumbing through the search results again. “Just different angles. The Void’s disappeared.”
Tella nodded. “For now. But I can assure you it is doing everything it can to regain its former power and more.”
Tella’s stared up at him.
Her eyes flicked to the dragon.
She stared at him again.
Derek clicked off his phone. “Please don’t.”
“I have to. We are on a timeline, Derek. With the Void comes a promise of destruction. We must curate your bond. Every day the dragon grows more and more into her own. She is already speaking faster than any I have seen before. It won’t be long before her avitheer truly manifests, along with—”
“No,” Derek said. “I already told you. No magic. And no…old and cool ways to talk about it. Not yet.” He clenched his jaw as he stared at his blank phone. The phone was shaking. He was gripping so hard he couldn’t keep it still. “I have to deal with my family first.”
“As you have said.” Tella stared unblinking. “Just know that every moment you do not learn is a moment lost.”
“I can’t, Tella,” Derek said, his nostrils flaring. He dug a nail into his fingertip, the pain distracting him from the tears. “Not until they’re safe. Not until they can’t worry about me anymore.”
“Derek…” Tella said, her voice soft. “As I’ve said, you do not have to do this.”
“Stop,” Derek said, his voice flat. “We’ve talked about this.”
“But—”
“No,” Derek snapped. “I can’t have them wondering every day what happened to me. Do you know what they came home to? My car gone. The house was all broken from a magic animal fight. I know my mom. She’ll be looking for me until the day she dies. There’s no resolution in that. There’s no peace in that!”
Derek leaned his head against the train wall. “Trampoline cat says it won’t hurt them. He said once it starts, whoever thinks of me, I’ll just like...disappear. Fade. Isn’t that better for everyone? They can’t cry about what they don’t remember.”
Tella was silent. Derek knew she was staring at him. That’s what she always did at the end of these conversations. She leaned forward to speak again but stopped as the dragon sat up calmly. She met Tella’s eye and softly nodded no.
Derek pretended not to notice.
“Forgive me for pushing,” Tella said, bowing her head. “You have the world on your shoulders. Thus, I will respect your wishes.” She scowled, looking over her shoulder. “If you will excuse me, I have to go kick a cat’s ass in Uno.” She disappeared in a burst of light.
As the dragon laid her head on Derek’s lap, he caught himself breathing again. With a soft grunt, he pet the dragon behind her ears.
“Deeeereeek,” she said, her voice elongated as she formed the word for the first time. Her voice sang as the pitch blended together. There was something so soft about her tone.
Derek gasped. “You…you said my name! That’s two words and it’s not even been a week!”
“Youuuu…” she said, grunting as she blinked in thought. Her eyes swirled with a bold electricity as she chewed on the new sound. She breathed in deep and tapped on Derek’s phone.
“Youtuuube, Derek.”
“Oh...no.” Derek snorted. “Your third word is YouTube? I feel like that’s wrong somehow.”
She smiled sweetly. “Books!”
Derek smiled. “Yeah. We can Youtube.”
Derek tapped his phone and turned on the beautiful sounds of worlds more colorful than this. Worlds where the Void didn’t exist. Worlds of gaming, worlds of cartoons, worlds of whatever he desired.
As the train rattled along, the dragon cuddled his chest like a new puppy. Derek’s mind numbed as he sank into a phone-screen world where he wasn’t about to erase his family’s memory of him forever.